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  “I was really mean, Ethan,” The doorbell cut me off. “Maria's here, I have to go,”

  “Do you love him, Nessy?” he asked completely ignoring me.

  “I- uh,” I opened the door to see Maria still half drunk and half asleep with her hair sticking up everywhere out of her ponytail, bags under her eyes.

  “Is that, Ben?” her eyes were open wide now. I scrunched my nose as her breath was loaded with the aroma of wine.

  I shook my head and whispered, “Ethan.”

  She nodded walking in past me. I took a seat next to her on the couch.

  “Do. You. Love. Him?” he asked again slowly, only this time he yelled it.

  I looked over at maria who's eyes told me that she too was waiting for my answer.

  “I-um,” I closed my eyes feeling my heart starting to race, my stomach was full of butterflies, and my palms were sweating. I shook my hands quickly.

  “I-” I took a deep breath and held it. I do, I love him.

  I love Ben McGurthy! I love him!

  “Vanessa?” Ethan was waiting.

  “Okay! Okay, yes!” I took another deep breath in. “I love him!” I cried, my hands still flailing.

  Ethan laughed. “Ha! That's what I'm talkin' bout! Go get him, Nessy!”

  “Go!” Maria said from next to me, nudging me with her elbow.

  “I'm scared,” I said into the phone and to Maria as I breathed deeply trying to catch my breath.

  “Just go, I'm hanging up now,” Ethan laughed. “Love you,”

  “Love you,” I hung up.

  “Don't sit here anymore, just go for crying out loud!” Maria grabbed my arm pulling me off of the couch.

  “Okay, okay, okay,” I said nervously as I grabbed my purse and car keys. I went running out the door towards my car. I jumped in, turned the key and off-a-squealing I went down the driveway.

  I could barely breath as I drove down the street towards Ben's house. I was about to do something that I had never dreamed in a million years I would ever do.

  I, Vanessa Montello, am going to confess to Benjamin McGurthy that I love him. I love him! I smiled.

  Ben

  I walked up the walkway to my house, my feet were dragging with every step. I was tired... so damn tired. I had driven around for awhile after calling Ethan. I told him how I felt, what I had done to get close to Vanessa again. All he could do was laugh and tell me he already knew. Apparently he had known for awhile how I felt about his sister. After I told him what happened tonight he hung up on me and I knew he was calling Vanessa. It didn't matter though as Vanessa will feel the way she does and I can't change it. No one can. There was still a part of me that felt a little twinge of hope that Ethan could help her understand that I would never do anything to hurt her.

  I unlocked my door and walk in to a nearly naked Belinda lying across my couch in her white bra and panties. Most guys would have been excited to see someone like her half naked; I was disgusted.

  “Hey, stranger. About time you came back home,” she purred running her fingertips up her thigh.

  “Why are you still in my house?” I whined. “You need to leave, right now,” I sighed helping her up. I leaned over and picked up her clothes. I set them in her arms.

  “You don't want me?” Belinda frowned. Is she finally getting it?

  “Belinda, you are beautiful, and...” I thought about it for a second. “You're beautiful.” I said again at a loss for words. Other than being hot as hell, she had no other qualities. Sad, I know.

  “Well, then what's the problem?” she ran her hands up my chest.

  I grabbed them. “I'm going to be honest and tell you that I am in love with someone else. This... us, it just doesn't feel right,” I shrugged. “I'm sorry,”

  “Oh,” she looked down at her feet.

  “I'm really sorry,” I held my hand out. “Friends?”

  She looked up at me and smiled completely ignoring my hand. “Friends,” she wrapped her arms around my waist then squeezed me tightly against her.

  I squeezed her back. “I'm glad you understand,”

  “Mm, friends with benefits,” she giggled.

  Friends with benefits? “What? No, no, no...”

  “I like it,” she jumped on me, pressing her lips hard against mine.

  “No,” I said against her lips trying to unwrap her legs from around my waist.

  “Belinda,” I drew my head back and pried her off of me. “Get out,”

  I had her by the elbow showing her to the door. She was still half naked but I truly didn't care. I just wanted Belinda out of my house.

  Talk about horrible timing... I opened my door at the same time Vanessa was walking up my walkway with a gleaming smile spread across her lips.

  “Vanessa,” I muttered completely shocked as she was the last person I would expect to be at my door. I felt my heart ache as Vanessa's smile went from the Cheshire Cat, to well... a child who dropped their ice cream cone at the county fair.

  “Oh my God,” she gasped.

  “This isn't what it looks like,” This isn't what it look like?! Nice, Ben... real nice. I took another step away from Belinda in her bra and panties. This looked bad... it looked really, really bad. I groaned internally.

  “You dick!” Vanessa yelled.

  “I'm so leaving,” Belinda grabbed her clothes and ran down the walkway towards the drive. Why was it she would constantly stick around and I could never get the girl to leave, but now she bounced like she just got caught messing around with someone's man. Ironic isn't it?

  “Are you serious right now, Benjamin?” I saw her bottom lip begin to quiver.

  “She jumped on me I swear to God, Vanessa.” I took a step forward.

  “She was half naked in your house, Ben. I am sorry but I highly doubt what was happening in there was an accident,” she cried. “I mean, what? Did she slip and fall onto your-your...thing?” she stuttered gesturing to the crotch of my jeans.

  “Nothing happened, I tried to get rid of her earlier but apparently she didn't leave. Please believe me, I am telling you the truth,” I begged.

  Vanessa took a deep breath to try and push her tears down. “My life was easy and simple; it was me, myself, and I. Then you come along and my entire life completely turns upside down. You showed me a world that I have been completely ignorant to. I have been so overwhelmed, but, Ben, I thank you for that. I do,”

  “Can we go inside and talk? Please?” I offered sadly.

  Vanessa completely ignored me then continued as calmly as she could.

  “You know, I was coming over here to let you know that I'm not entirely sure how I feel about everything, but I do know that I love you. At least I do know what that feels like.” she turned towards the driveway as she couldn't suppress her tears any longer.

  “Tonight proved to me what I already knew. You are a player, and you will never change. We are just friends,” Vanessa placed her hand over her mouth trying to mask a sob as she walked away quickly down my walkway.

  “Vanessa, stop,” I jogged to her car. I placed my hand on her car door so she couldn't leave. “Please let me explain,”

  “Forget tonight ever happened,” she sniffed as she grabbed the door handle and pulled. I took my hand off of the drivers side door frame and let her go.

  I stood there watching her wrecked Mercedes leave my driveway.

  “Goodbye, Nessy.” I whispered as I watched her tail lights disappear down my street.

  I couldn't keep hurting her. She was right when she said her life was fine before I came barging into it. Vanessa didn't ask for any of this, I pushed all of this on her and I am the only one who could fix it.

  Right then I had made up my mind as I stood on my driveway staring at a dark empty street. I would leave Vanessa alone, and while I let Vanessa go on with the life she had... I will go back to Chicago.

  Chapter Eleven: Lost and Found

  Vanessa

  I pulled into my driveway and stayed there hyst
erically crying. I have never felt this way about someone before Ben. I was hurting inside and I just wanted it to go away. This is exactly why I had shut myself out all of these years from men and their garbage.

  That day at Union Square, yes, I saw people happy. But I'm not... my heart was just ripped out from my chest the second I saw a half naked model leaving Ben's house. He had said that it looked bad but it was nothing I thought it was. I really don't care what the situation was, Ben and I are friends. Nothing more.

  Knock, knock... on my drivers side window. I saw Maria standing there with a sad look upon her face. She tried to open my locked door. I looked at her and started crying harder.

  “Vanessa, open the door.” she jiggled the handle again.

  I pressed the button and the door swung open. Maria knelt down and wrapped me in her arms.

  “What happened?” she asked sullenly rubbing my back comfortingly.

  “I went to tell him, and I was so nervous,” I sobbed. “I was almost to his door when it opened and out came some gorgeous half naked chic,” I cried.

  “What?” she pulled back to look at me. “No,”

  “I swear! He was walking her outside,” I wiped under my nose with my sweatshirt.

  “Son of a bitch!” she said angrily. “What did he say about it?”

  “He said that it wasn't what it looks like,” I huffed.

  “I'm going to kick his ass! Let's go, come on.” she helped me out of the car and into the house as I cried.

  She didn't pry for any other details as we lay on the couch watching a movie. I had fallen asleep sometime in the middle of the film still crying. Thank, God for that as I can't handle the way I am feeling inside and I can't make it go away. Is this truly what a broken heart feels like?

  I awoke to Maria freaking out stomping back and fourth as she paced my living room.

  “Of course!” she laughed aloud.

  “Maria, what are you doing?” I mumbled as I blinked my eyes open. She was standing there with a huge grin spread across her face; her brown curls still a crazy, raged mess full of sleep.

  “Oh my God, I was drunk last night so of course I forgot about that chic!” she said excitedly.

  “What are you talking about?” I groaned as I sat up.

  “Vanessa,” she sat down next to me. “Last night when I called him to let him know douche bag Jordan was taking you to Swingers, I heard a girl pounding on the door begging to be let in his house,”

  “Great, okay. You make me feel so much better,” I sighed placing one of my throw pillows on my lap.

  “No, listen to me.” she rubbed her hands together excitedly. “Apparently he didn't want the girl in his house! When I told him where you were he obviously left her there. He came home with you, told you how he felt and then she must have been 'waiting for him' when he got home,” she laughed.

  “Yes! I am so good!” she snapped.

  I stood up a little excited but frustrated at the same time. “Maria, you should have told me this last night!” I whined.

  “I know, but you are the one who kept pouring Pinot down my throat,”

  “Well, you didn't object!” I retorted angrily.

  “It doesn't matter. You know now,” Maria sighed as she sat back on the couch.

  “It does matter that last night was horrible for both Ben and I. Deciding to just be friends is the best thing for both of us. I don't care what happened, or who that nasty trash was because I'm not doing this anymore regardless what anyone else says. I would rather move on and forget about it.” With that being said I walked into my room to take a long hot bath... but not before I cried a little bit more.

  Two days later...

  I'd been working a lot on my article for Ellen. To help keep my mind off of Ben, and to stop my blubbering. I had spent the last two days here at my office. I pretty much typed until I fell asleep at my desk, and hit up the rack of clothes in wardrobe for the photo shoots before anyone got here so it can seem as though I have been going home. I refused to let Maria see how this whole situation had gotten to me.

  I was typing away at my computer when my door opens.

  “Yes,” I sighed not taking my eyes off of my screen.

  “Someone has an admirer,” Maria giggled.

  Admirer? I looked up to see a huge bouquet of red roses in a crystal vase covering the upper half of her body.

  “Oh my God,” I whispered as I stood up and grabbed them from her. We both stood there just staring at them then, at one another.

  “Who do you think they are from?” I asked quietly.

  “I don't know,” she shrugged. “Do you think they could be from, you know... him?”

  “Ben?” I looked at her knowingly. “No, I highly doubt that,”

  “There's a card,” she reached her long arm into the middle of the roses. “Read it,”

  I slowly took the envelope from her. Holding it in my hands I stared at my name written nicely on the front. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before digging my finger under the seal ripping it open.

  Vanessa,

  Just a little something beautiful for someone so beautiful.

  Dr. Chase Roberts.

  I gasped.

  “Well, who are they from?” she fidgeted her fingers nervously.

  “Dr. Love.” Dr. Chase Roberts. I had completely forgotten about him in all of this crazy love stuff I have had going on.

  “Are you serious?” Maria ripped the card from my hands. Her mouth slightly moved with every word she read.

  “Aw, he said your beautiful!” she cooed.

  “I'm not ready for this yet,” I plopped down into my chair.

  “Yes, you are. You still have a job to finish and besides, it would be good for you to get out of the office.”

  “Maria, I-”

  “I know you have been sleeping here, okay? I understand that you don't want to go home. But, life goes on and we learn to move on which is exactly what you are going to do.” she walked behind me and spun my chair around pushing me towards the door of my office.

  “Maria, what are you doing?” I held onto the arms for dear life as she ran out of my office and down the hall towards the elevator.

  “We need to hurry before Natasha comes looking for that Gucci blouse you have on,” she grunted, pushing me faster.

  Ding... the elevator opened and she pushed the back of my chair as hard as she could, knocking it forward. I landed hard on the floor of the elevator with an oomf, and a thud.

  “Ow! Maria!” I quickly stood up dusting my black slacks off.

  “Call Dr. Love, and don't forget to call me! Doctors orders!” she laughed as the elevator door closed.

  I was walking to my white BMW rental-yes it looks just like Ben's, which was not my fault. I pulled my phone out and scrolled through the contacts until I came to Chase's number. I hit the call button.

  “Dr. Roberts,” he answered.

  “Thank you for the roses,” I said sweetly. I wanted to smack myself as I could the nervousness behind each word I spoke.

  “Miss Montello,” I could hear the smile in his voice. “You are very welcome. I'm hoping that they made you smile,”

  Smile? Nervous to say the least. “They did,” Now I am smiling.

  “Nice timing on your phone call, I actually have tonight off. Do you want to go have dinner?” he asked casually.

  I stopped as I stared at the white BMW. No, not really... “Yes, I would love to,” I sighed.

  “Great, how does seven-o-clock at Vincenzo's sound?”

  Vincenzo's is a fabulous Italian restaurant in Manhattan. Awarded the best pizza in all of the East Coast.

  “Seven-o-clock it is. See you then!”

  “Okay, have a good rest of your day... goodbye, gorgeous,”

  “Bye,” I said before quickly hanging up.

  I dropped my phone back in my purse and continued to stare at the car. I threw a fit when all the rental place had luxury wise was this white BMW. I would have waited
until they had something different but my poor car is in shambles, and I couldn't drive it wrecked anymore.